Whenever I'm reading about weight-loss journeys and people hitting a point in their life in which they have decided to start making an effort, I'm reminded that my journey is far from over. As much as I want to look at my progress photo and give myself a pat on the back for a job well done, I can't help but be confronted with the fact that I'm always going to be a work-in-progress. Losing weight wasn't my only health-related goal. In addition to losing the extra fat, I'd like to be more physically fit. I'm learning more and more that it has considerable mental health benefits.
I've dealt with mild depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember and have been searching for ways to alleviate my stress levels so that I'm less likely to trigger a panic attack. There were many things that triggered my anxiety, such as being "stuck" around dramatic or judgemental people, having too many social obligations and no time to be alone to recharge, financial strain and probably the most persistent is self-doubt.
I was able to weed out several negative influences in my life over the years. It wasn't entirely someone else's fault for the way they made me feel, but some people just seem to have a knack for making me feel worse than I already do. I prefer more positive influences in my life to help inspire me to adopt a similar mindset.
I didn't know until college that I am really more of an intorvert than an extrovert. Someone explained it like this to me: when someone wants to relax, typically an extrovert will go out and be social. An introvert will stay inside with a book. I'm definitely the latter. As much as I love to be social, it is absolutely mandatory that I get alone time on a regular basis or I start to break down. Whenever I'm out in public, I've been taught to behave a certain way in order to be considerate of other and that means I'm acting. I'm not saying that I'm always ingenuine, but I am not relaxed. I'm always worried that I'll do or say something wrong, or that someone will take it the wrong way. So, I put on an act. And it's exhausting. When I get too drained and don't get the opportunity to recharge I lose the ability to control myself. It sort of feels like I've been awake without sleeping for several days. I often feel so upset at those points that I fantasize about sleeping for several weeks, or running away completely from my life.
Honestly, I couldn't live with the consequences of my running away from all of my obligations, so I fall back on other ways to cope with the 'overload', which usually means eating. Often times when I am stressing out I will rationalize that a sugary treat will make me feel better. It doesn't. If anything it makes it worse. Every time. I end up eating something like a cookie or piece of cake and feel like an idiot later. Mostly due to the fact that every time I eat junk food I get zits. It's pretty much the only time I get them now, sans an occasional PMS breakout. It's just lovely. So that one moment of panic turns into thinking I need comfort food, and then turns into 1-2 weeks of self-loathing while I wait for my skin to clear up again.
I think the moral of today's story is that it would be beneficial for me to find alternate ways to deal with my stress when I'm feeling overwhelmed that doesn't include eating junk. My plan moving forward is to pay attention to my stress levels and when I'm feeling the urge to eat a stupid and temporarily comforting treat - and see if I can't find something else to fill the void. I still maintain that it's all about retraining myself and forming better, healthier habits. While it's always easier said than done, it's still important that I acknowledge these issues. If it's easier said than done then I have to SAY it first, right?
Stay tuned!
Have a wonderful week, everyone!
I've dealt with mild depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember and have been searching for ways to alleviate my stress levels so that I'm less likely to trigger a panic attack. There were many things that triggered my anxiety, such as being "stuck" around dramatic or judgemental people, having too many social obligations and no time to be alone to recharge, financial strain and probably the most persistent is self-doubt.
I was able to weed out several negative influences in my life over the years. It wasn't entirely someone else's fault for the way they made me feel, but some people just seem to have a knack for making me feel worse than I already do. I prefer more positive influences in my life to help inspire me to adopt a similar mindset.
I didn't know until college that I am really more of an intorvert than an extrovert. Someone explained it like this to me: when someone wants to relax, typically an extrovert will go out and be social. An introvert will stay inside with a book. I'm definitely the latter. As much as I love to be social, it is absolutely mandatory that I get alone time on a regular basis or I start to break down. Whenever I'm out in public, I've been taught to behave a certain way in order to be considerate of other and that means I'm acting. I'm not saying that I'm always ingenuine, but I am not relaxed. I'm always worried that I'll do or say something wrong, or that someone will take it the wrong way. So, I put on an act. And it's exhausting. When I get too drained and don't get the opportunity to recharge I lose the ability to control myself. It sort of feels like I've been awake without sleeping for several days. I often feel so upset at those points that I fantasize about sleeping for several weeks, or running away completely from my life.
Honestly, I couldn't live with the consequences of my running away from all of my obligations, so I fall back on other ways to cope with the 'overload', which usually means eating. Often times when I am stressing out I will rationalize that a sugary treat will make me feel better. It doesn't. If anything it makes it worse. Every time. I end up eating something like a cookie or piece of cake and feel like an idiot later. Mostly due to the fact that every time I eat junk food I get zits. It's pretty much the only time I get them now, sans an occasional PMS breakout. It's just lovely. So that one moment of panic turns into thinking I need comfort food, and then turns into 1-2 weeks of self-loathing while I wait for my skin to clear up again.
I think the moral of today's story is that it would be beneficial for me to find alternate ways to deal with my stress when I'm feeling overwhelmed that doesn't include eating junk. My plan moving forward is to pay attention to my stress levels and when I'm feeling the urge to eat a stupid and temporarily comforting treat - and see if I can't find something else to fill the void. I still maintain that it's all about retraining myself and forming better, healthier habits. While it's always easier said than done, it's still important that I acknowledge these issues. If it's easier said than done then I have to SAY it first, right?
Stay tuned!
Have a wonderful week, everyone!