First, it's still crazy that I have such a dramatic reaction to sugar. I knew it was addictive and I knew that I couldn't have too much of it or I'd start gaining weight back - but the emotional aspect, and how drained I felt for days afterward as I recovered from it's effects was such a slap in the face for me. I don't have to TRY to stay away from sugar, I literally don't WANT it. Like, if that's how it's gonna treat me every time I eat it, then forget it. Bye bye, now. Plenty of other things to eat.
Over a week of zero temptation to eat sugar has made a huge difference in my food consumption overall. I feel full/content after meals and the mere idea of boredom eating doesn't even occur to me. I'd rather do something other than feel stuffed to the gills and watch Netflix. I usually eat 2 helpings of whatever I made for dinner and put away the rest, and oftentimes I will eat those leftovers at some point the following day. But lately, I'm not snacky throughout the day for anything other than a piece of fruit or, more often, I just want some water or tea and to go on with my day. So, last night for dinner I cooked up all of the various leftovers I hadn't eaten as snacks to make one epic combination. It was delightful! It's also nice to be saving some money by not eating as excessively so that I can spend more on my artistic hobbies!
My hunger signals in general are different when I'm not on sugar. I remember in the movie Fed Up someone said that sugar hijacks the brain and makes us think we're hungry - and now that I'm going completely sugar-free again, I can confirm that. It's still shocking even after years of testing this theory on myself. I really don't want food to be the focal point of my life - I'd rather spend the energy that I use going to the fridge 20x a day to help others, whether that's sharing my music or art, or helping others get off of processed foods for themselves.
The truth is, I like living inside of my body when it isn't addicted to sugar. I'm not saying I'll never eat any again, because I will. But it will only come after I've considered: what kind, how much, and for what reason. A doughnut is my favorite, but I can still enjoy a bite without having to eat the whole thing. In fairness, my husband is an amazing wing man for me. I asked him to be honest with me when I'm in a difficult situation with food choices, and he is consistently kind in the moment, offering to share/split things with me, or reminding me that I don't need to finish all of something to enjoy a taste. Sometimes his words are so effective that I decide against a bad choice entirely. Having a "voice of reason" has helped me so much that there are times when I am alone, facing a choice, and have heard his kind voice in my head encouraging me to do the right thing.
Knowing I have people like my husband on my side helps a great deal. I actually don't know how well I would have done without it. Because, man, sometimes I just don't WANT to hear it at all. Like, all I'll be thinking about is a cookie and the idea that some jerk suggests I not have the cookie... WTF who do you think you are telling me what I should and shouldn't eat?!
Oh right... you love me. We're on the same team and I trust your perspective. I asked you to help remind me in moments of weakness, so I must be in a moment of weakness. Let me take a moment to reset my brain, take a couple of deep breaths, and you know... put that cookie down.
I'm interested to see what the next week brings. I'm going to be out of the house a lot, so I have been making preparations for what I will be bringing with me so that I don't have to rely on restaurants having good choices - because they never freekin' do. Every "salad" is just a vessel for candy sauce.
So much easier to just bring my own. I know what I'm getting and it saves boatloads of cash. Win/win!
This week is also going to be different for me because I'm going to be social, but I don't drink alcohol anymore. See, the thing about alcohol... it's pure sugar. So, yeah, not it. But the social aspect is still an adjustment, as people tend to get somewhat awkward around the one person that doesn't drink. I hope it doesn't come across as pretentious, but you know even if it does, I can't really help that. I'm not doing it so y'all feel uncomfortable, I'm doing it for me so that I don't feel uncomfortable. Like, I said, I hate the way my body feels when I feed it sugar, so I'm choosing to stop.
It's a social adjustment to go vegetarian, as well. I don't know why people feel the need to justify their meat eating to me... like, yeah, I know it tastes good. I ate meat on a daily basis for decades. I didn't stop eating it because it doesn't taste good. That's not a great argument to have with me. I didn't give up Diet Coke because it didn't taste good. Same with doughnuts, pizza, fast food, chips, etc. Food tasting good is what draws us to eat it in the first place... hence the food product industry doing so damned well.
It's simple, I give up on foods if I learn they are harmful to me. Period. It may take me some time to adjust to not having those things anymore, but it is possible to stop eating something and then, in time, no longer miss it.