My husband has been quite successful in helping me to understand how thinking more logically and rationally. When I'm able to confront my insecurities, I'm able to put some associated anxieties to rest. I've had to confront some issues I've been dealing with for as long as I can remember, such as being anxious about change. Whenever I felt bad about myself and wished I could take a magic pill and wake up thinner the next day, I was confronted with the harsh reality that that literally isn't the way life works. I had to make a choice - either continue to live in fear of making a change, or face the concequences.
I will say, there was a lot of misinformation floating in my head and I wasn't 100% aware that clean eating would really be the solution that works for me. But being open-minded and ready to make the lifestyle change was imperative. With the help of the website Reddit, especially in a subreddit called fatlogic, I was able to see just how silly my thinking was. The purpose of the group is to call attention to overweight/obese people who make excuses for being fat that aren't based on anything but triggered emotions. For example, someone will say that they're dying after walking up just one flight of stairs but throws a fit if someone suggests that they would have an easier time if they lost weight. I myself used to complain that any shoes with heels were nothing but toruture devices because they hurt my feet, knees and back so much. I refused to believe that the pressure of my body weight was a contributing factor - it was the shoemaker's of the world that were the blame!
The crazy thing about spending time reading through others' excuses, or fat logic, is that I had been personally making some of the same ones for years. It was eye-opening, and quite frankly, incredibly humbling. I rarely took personal responsibility for my weight, assuming it was genetic or I'd have to starve myself. didn't really understand how to put a healthy plan into action like I do now.
Some examples of my fat logic include:
I used to think that flying was horrible because the seats were so damned small that unless I was sitting next to someone I knew or had the window seat, I basically had to hug myself for the entire flight or I'd be touching someone or get my arm whacked by a cart or passing person. It was the worst.
I used to think that because some random meme on facebook clamined that Marilyn Monroe was a size 14, that I wasn't so bad since I was often a 16 or 18, which was "close enough".
I used to think that people on the opposite side of the spectrum; skinny people, were luckier, happier, and more desirable.
I used to think that clothing manufacturers were horrible, awful people that only catered to stick figures. I also thought that it was so much easier for thin people to shop for clothes, since everything would obviously fit how it's supposed to.
I used to think people were jerks for not being attracted to me when I was fat.
These are just a few examples. They all are mindsets that I completely disagree with now.
Especially since flying is fine now. I have plenty of space and having sat by a larger person... I totally get why some folks end up having to buy 2 tickets. It sucked so bad feeling crammed into the seats for several hours - it blew my mind when I had the option to comfortably sit cross-legged in a standard car seat, and airplane seats just feel like sitting in normal seats now.
Marilyn Monroe... well, she wasn't a modern or vintage size 14 afterall. Turns out she had a 22-inch waist... For context, my waist is 33 inches and I wear a US size 6. So, it turns out I also had to learn that the internet is full of dirty, filthy lies and that doing actual research before believing something I read is probably a good plan moving forward.
I've met people in my life who are skinny and unhappy. It isn't a paradise for everyone on the other side either, and it largely seems to depend on how they got there. If they were naturally skinny into adulthood, they often wished they could gain some weight. If they were bigger and developed an eating disorder which caused them to lose too much weight, they weren't happy either. Becuase when we say we want to be thinner for asthetic reasons, we aren't doing it with our body's best interests at heart. When we want to get healthy, we instead focus on what feels good.
Clothing manufacterers ARE horrible. Everything should be made under a uniform sizing chart because this some bullshizzie. Even being smaller it's a pain to shop. I'm still curvy, just shrunken down, so clothes still don't fit the way I think they will.
I used to think people were jerks for not being attracted to me when I was fat... until I realized everyone is entitled to their preferences. And to be fair, I didn't find myself attractive when I was fat, either, so.... hypocrite much? And we've come to a full fat logic circle.
Overall, I've learned that living a healthy lifestyle is just like learning any new skill and takes time and daily effort to create something good. Eating more nutritious meals makes my whole body feel better. Leading a healthy lifestyle is a very special gift to give ourselves. Individually, we're the only one who has the power to make it happen.
It is not about eating one salad a month and expecting to drop 10lbs, or going to the gym for a week and expecting to be fit. That one salad contributed, sure. And your body probably appreciated the substance! You're also doing yourself a favor by getting some exercise. If going to the gym isn't your thing (it isn't mine), then find something else that you can do for exercise. I choose yoga and walking because I can commit to doing them on a regular basis. I can't commit to 2 hours to travel/workout/travel when I could do the entire yoga routine in my livingroom for 30 minutes and be ready to move on to something else that needs getting done. If I lived next door to a gym I'd probably be singing a different tune, though.
Find your thing and go with it. Don't give yourself the option to say no. Set low, reasonable goals and just focus on consistency for as long as it takes to change the habit. Usually habits can be broken in as little as 21 days to a month. It's not that long. The hard part is that once you've stopped you need to keep stopping. Forever. That's the part I didn't consider before.
Changing our mind about something takes work. We have to want it badly enough.