And what a happy birthday it is, indeed. I had no idea that I would transform so completely over the last 3 years like I have. Sometimes it's still weird to be considered thin, and actually see it from my own perspective. It's hard to face that mirror no matter what kind of body you have. It seems like most people hate some part of their body and wish they could magically fix it. Maybe in a way we can. If you hate your nose, for example, you can have plastic surgery and get it altered. You can thank all of the nose-haters of the past for being practice subjects to perfect that process. It's also possible, in a more topical example, that I will have surgery at some point down the road to remove excess skin. It's hard for me to say this, because shame sucks, but I'm really quite sure I was closer to 260lbs when I hit my peak. Those are my more dramatic comparison photos. Especially so because this morning I weighed in at 145lbs - so that means I've now lost 115lbs over the past 11 years. That is blowing my mind like I can't even describe. I didn't know I could look or feel this way. I thought it was something that those phony jackholes on TV say to sell some dieting scam.
That would never happen to me because I was convinced that the only solution for me was to starve myself and live at the gym. I didn't want that kind of life. It stressed me out a lot just from the preview. It really wasn't my thing to be a super fitness-oriented person because it always felt like I had to address everything all at once. For example, I discovered I don't really like working out in groups. I had a hard time relaxing around others when I tried yoga in the past. I would often be judging myself so harshly that I was projecting my insecurities onto the other people in the room. Pretty soon I was convinced everyone thought I was a fat piece of crap and that I should just give up and go home. Rational Alicia knows this was not at all the case, and more than likely everyone was also thinking about themselves, or you know, actually relaxing and doing yoga. I still have a hard time getting past my own judgements. Even though I'm doing it alone.
So, I want to start doing something to share even more about what I've been doing to continue to practicing a healthy lifestyle and many things are up in the air as far as what to do and how to do it that is most accessible to anyone interested. I am so pumped to think there are folks out there who want to give the clean eating thing a try. It's really a lot easier than it seems, and we learned a ton of things along the way that helped us develop into what we do now. Even still it is changing depending on what we learn from our current habits.
More to come on that soon! For now, please enjoy this comparison that shows the progress I've made between my 30th birthday and my 33rd (which is in one more day; woo!!!)
Have a fabulous, wonderful, fabulous evening!
That would never happen to me because I was convinced that the only solution for me was to starve myself and live at the gym. I didn't want that kind of life. It stressed me out a lot just from the preview. It really wasn't my thing to be a super fitness-oriented person because it always felt like I had to address everything all at once. For example, I discovered I don't really like working out in groups. I had a hard time relaxing around others when I tried yoga in the past. I would often be judging myself so harshly that I was projecting my insecurities onto the other people in the room. Pretty soon I was convinced everyone thought I was a fat piece of crap and that I should just give up and go home. Rational Alicia knows this was not at all the case, and more than likely everyone was also thinking about themselves, or you know, actually relaxing and doing yoga. I still have a hard time getting past my own judgements. Even though I'm doing it alone.
So, I want to start doing something to share even more about what I've been doing to continue to practicing a healthy lifestyle and many things are up in the air as far as what to do and how to do it that is most accessible to anyone interested. I am so pumped to think there are folks out there who want to give the clean eating thing a try. It's really a lot easier than it seems, and we learned a ton of things along the way that helped us develop into what we do now. Even still it is changing depending on what we learn from our current habits.
More to come on that soon! For now, please enjoy this comparison that shows the progress I've made between my 30th birthday and my 33rd (which is in one more day; woo!!!)
Have a fabulous, wonderful, fabulous evening!