I like words. Sometimes I get used to using a certain word to mean only one thing. For example, when I thought about using the word "addiction" it only pertained to certain things like smoking cigarettes for the nicotine. But about a decade ago, I found that I was having withdrawal symptoms while visiting family out of town. I had a horrible headache that lasted 2 days straight and nothing seemed to fix it. A lightbulb seemed to go on over my grandma's head and she took me to the nearest Starbucks. Sure enough, as soon as I drank some caffeine the headache was gone. I was really shocked by the discovery and started weaning myself from caffeine asap. I still drank caffeinated beverages and consumed chocolate covered espresso beans, but I got to a point where I didn't NEED it in order to function on a daily basis. I broke a caffeine addiction.
I didn't actively think about addictions again until more recently. What else could we be addicted to? Especially when considering the definition of addiction:
I didn't actively think about addictions again until more recently. What else could we be addicted to? Especially when considering the definition of addiction:
Okay, so if I can be potentially addicted to anything, what things are more harm than good on the path to a healthier lifestyle? What can I do to make it as easy as possible to enjoy my life on a daily basis? One of my steps was to admit my addictions. Things I was convinced I "couldn't live without".
The first thing that always pops into my head is my latest achievement which was cutting through my addiction to sugar. It was incredibly difficult to break through it - for me it was even harder than quitting caffeine. But it's bigger than just sugar. It's an umbrella with many things nested underneath that need to be addressed one at a time. I am a binge eater. Once I get going and exceed my necessary limits, I want to keep eating and eating and eating. It's hard to shake the image of a fat kid gorging on Twinkies when I think of my behavior only up until a few months ago. It made me feel bad about myself on a regular basis and I think that emotion was the driving force to want to better myself. The spark was lit under me after viewing "Fed Up" (Netflix. Lots of info. Watch it!), and the result of losing over 30lbs in the first 3 months solidified my decision to continue down this path.
I don't like being fat and I don't want to do it anymore.
I thought this meant that I had to 'punish' myself by never eating the junky things I like ever again. Forever spend my days with my face pressed up against the glass window of a bakery, watching only skinny perfections eating the vast array of baked goods. But that's not at all how it's been going for me. In fact, yesterday I went to one of the most dangerous places a food addict can go. The State Fair. There were 3 of us walking together and we agreed to share most of our food so that we would be able to try more things.
I had a bite of a Roti, half of a Sriracha ball, half of a pretzel wrapped hotdog, a Sweet Martha's Cookie, and a shared bowl of Nitro ice cream. We also parked about a mile from the entrance and thus walked over 10k steps. I'm not worried about what I ate yesterday, as today is a different day and it will be much easier to do better today than I did yesterday. That is always how I compare my days - yesterday I didn't make the best choices, so today I will try to eat even better and do a little extra exercise.
I feel confident in saying that junk food is no longer a problem for me. I don't want junk food today. I don't crave more ice cream (I think I had a few bites too much anyway), I don't want another deep fried thing. I'm looking forward to fresh food again. I miss my daily salad already. Not because a salad inherently tastes better than a mini donut. It doesn't. But a mini donut never made me feel good once it was in my belly. It either made me feel sad that I ate them because I knew they weren't good for me, or it made me feel sad because there weren't more for me to eat. Salads don't do that to me. They don't confuse my signals, or make me feel any regret. They leave me full and content and I don't wish I had a second salad to consume. That is a sign for me - a VERY important one. In order for me to kick my food addictions, I need to abstain from the junky things I am craving until I can handle them in moderation.
I had trouble with a lot of foods, actually. Some of them I am still dealing with and others are no longer a big deal as I have learned to control myself around those temptations.
In 4 months I've had potato chips once. They came with a sandwich my husband and I were splitting and I ate a few of the chips. They were decent, but I knew I couldn't let myself eat them all as I was on auto-pilot to do. My husband abstained from eating them at all, which did help remind me that there was no need to eat potato chips in the first place. The sandwich was quite enough food. I have not eaten chips since. I abstain from chips because they are something I know I have binged on in the past. Since I don't feel 100% confident that I can handle myself around them, I just don't keep them around.
I had too many french fries at a restaurant last weekend because they were too damned delicious. I did feel bad after that outing because of my lack of resistance to temptation. I didn't beat myself up about it, but I did make a mental note that it may be a good idea to avoid potatoes in general for a while. They have proven to be a great challenge for me to moderate and since there are millions of alternative things to eat, I can just go on avoiding them for a while longer until I can manage to just eat a couple of them.
I had a list at one point that I added foods to that I could not be trusted to have around the house. Everything on that list was dumped into the garbage and not purchased again. I don't remember it all verbatim, but here's an idea of what my list included:
Again, it wasn't intended to torture myself by getting rid of "everything I like to eat". This was more like an intervention with myself. I knew I could do better and I am currently on the path of doing just that. These are merely foods I know I have little to no control over myself when I'm left alone with. If I don't keep it in my house, then I am not tempted to eat it. It's not easy. Now I have to go to the store to specifically buy something junky. 9 times out of 10 I will choose not to go out and get it because I've had time to consider whether or not I really want it. I am impulsive and will eat things that have made me sick in the past with the justification that it's "worth it". Uhhh, no Alicia. Just no. It's not worth the symptoms of lactose intolerance for a pint of ice cream. It's not worth feeling bloated all day just to eat pizza. There just came a point when I felt like enough was enough. I've found out that it isn't torture avoiding pizza at all. It's torture being shackled to an addiction and feeling hopeless against it. That was torture. That is why it is easier for me to continue avoiding it. I remind myself how it felt to be fatting out of my size 16 jeans. I remind myself of how lethargic I felt every day. How emotionally tied I felt to food - like I was having a super stressful day and I would just feel better if I ate a burger and some chocolate. I am working to build new ways to relax and new ways to handle my stress and anxiety that don't involve food. It's a slow-going process, but I attribute much of my progress to cutting my addictions - primarily to sugar.
For anyone interested, there is a lot of info about doing a 10-Day sugar detox here. Personally, I think people should do it for 1 month to completely be off of a sugar addiction, but 10 days is a great start. I highly recommend keeping a journal during the experience, too. You don't have to write a lot everyday, but just keep tabs on your thoughts and emotions as you cut out this crazy addictive substance.
Also, this woman's experience doing the 10-day challenge is a great read!
Have a great week all - and of course, here's another fun comparison pic!
The first thing that always pops into my head is my latest achievement which was cutting through my addiction to sugar. It was incredibly difficult to break through it - for me it was even harder than quitting caffeine. But it's bigger than just sugar. It's an umbrella with many things nested underneath that need to be addressed one at a time. I am a binge eater. Once I get going and exceed my necessary limits, I want to keep eating and eating and eating. It's hard to shake the image of a fat kid gorging on Twinkies when I think of my behavior only up until a few months ago. It made me feel bad about myself on a regular basis and I think that emotion was the driving force to want to better myself. The spark was lit under me after viewing "Fed Up" (Netflix. Lots of info. Watch it!), and the result of losing over 30lbs in the first 3 months solidified my decision to continue down this path.
I don't like being fat and I don't want to do it anymore.
I thought this meant that I had to 'punish' myself by never eating the junky things I like ever again. Forever spend my days with my face pressed up against the glass window of a bakery, watching only skinny perfections eating the vast array of baked goods. But that's not at all how it's been going for me. In fact, yesterday I went to one of the most dangerous places a food addict can go. The State Fair. There were 3 of us walking together and we agreed to share most of our food so that we would be able to try more things.
I had a bite of a Roti, half of a Sriracha ball, half of a pretzel wrapped hotdog, a Sweet Martha's Cookie, and a shared bowl of Nitro ice cream. We also parked about a mile from the entrance and thus walked over 10k steps. I'm not worried about what I ate yesterday, as today is a different day and it will be much easier to do better today than I did yesterday. That is always how I compare my days - yesterday I didn't make the best choices, so today I will try to eat even better and do a little extra exercise.
I feel confident in saying that junk food is no longer a problem for me. I don't want junk food today. I don't crave more ice cream (I think I had a few bites too much anyway), I don't want another deep fried thing. I'm looking forward to fresh food again. I miss my daily salad already. Not because a salad inherently tastes better than a mini donut. It doesn't. But a mini donut never made me feel good once it was in my belly. It either made me feel sad that I ate them because I knew they weren't good for me, or it made me feel sad because there weren't more for me to eat. Salads don't do that to me. They don't confuse my signals, or make me feel any regret. They leave me full and content and I don't wish I had a second salad to consume. That is a sign for me - a VERY important one. In order for me to kick my food addictions, I need to abstain from the junky things I am craving until I can handle them in moderation.
I had trouble with a lot of foods, actually. Some of them I am still dealing with and others are no longer a big deal as I have learned to control myself around those temptations.
In 4 months I've had potato chips once. They came with a sandwich my husband and I were splitting and I ate a few of the chips. They were decent, but I knew I couldn't let myself eat them all as I was on auto-pilot to do. My husband abstained from eating them at all, which did help remind me that there was no need to eat potato chips in the first place. The sandwich was quite enough food. I have not eaten chips since. I abstain from chips because they are something I know I have binged on in the past. Since I don't feel 100% confident that I can handle myself around them, I just don't keep them around.
I had too many french fries at a restaurant last weekend because they were too damned delicious. I did feel bad after that outing because of my lack of resistance to temptation. I didn't beat myself up about it, but I did make a mental note that it may be a good idea to avoid potatoes in general for a while. They have proven to be a great challenge for me to moderate and since there are millions of alternative things to eat, I can just go on avoiding them for a while longer until I can manage to just eat a couple of them.
I had a list at one point that I added foods to that I could not be trusted to have around the house. Everything on that list was dumped into the garbage and not purchased again. I don't remember it all verbatim, but here's an idea of what my list included:
- Potatoes, chips, hashbrowns
- Breakfast cereal, granola
- Candy
- Baking supplies
- Ice cream
- Frozen meals, dinner-in-a-bag
- Bread
- Boxed meals, processed foods
- Soda, juice, chocolate almond milk
Again, it wasn't intended to torture myself by getting rid of "everything I like to eat". This was more like an intervention with myself. I knew I could do better and I am currently on the path of doing just that. These are merely foods I know I have little to no control over myself when I'm left alone with. If I don't keep it in my house, then I am not tempted to eat it. It's not easy. Now I have to go to the store to specifically buy something junky. 9 times out of 10 I will choose not to go out and get it because I've had time to consider whether or not I really want it. I am impulsive and will eat things that have made me sick in the past with the justification that it's "worth it". Uhhh, no Alicia. Just no. It's not worth the symptoms of lactose intolerance for a pint of ice cream. It's not worth feeling bloated all day just to eat pizza. There just came a point when I felt like enough was enough. I've found out that it isn't torture avoiding pizza at all. It's torture being shackled to an addiction and feeling hopeless against it. That was torture. That is why it is easier for me to continue avoiding it. I remind myself how it felt to be fatting out of my size 16 jeans. I remind myself of how lethargic I felt every day. How emotionally tied I felt to food - like I was having a super stressful day and I would just feel better if I ate a burger and some chocolate. I am working to build new ways to relax and new ways to handle my stress and anxiety that don't involve food. It's a slow-going process, but I attribute much of my progress to cutting my addictions - primarily to sugar.
For anyone interested, there is a lot of info about doing a 10-Day sugar detox here. Personally, I think people should do it for 1 month to completely be off of a sugar addiction, but 10 days is a great start. I highly recommend keeping a journal during the experience, too. You don't have to write a lot everyday, but just keep tabs on your thoughts and emotions as you cut out this crazy addictive substance.
Also, this woman's experience doing the 10-day challenge is a great read!
Have a great week all - and of course, here's another fun comparison pic!